Individual Therapy

Mandy* still can’t fall asleep, so she takes another pill.

Her partner is sprawled on the couch in the next room, snoring loudly with the TV on. She feels as if she is fading into oblivion.

She takes a deep breath, wondering if she should turn off the TV. But she doesn’t want to wake her partner – to have him fall into bed beside her with rancid beer breath.

She is tired of arguing about his drinking. Her stomach gurgles with indigestion, so she props up a few pillows, lies back, and groans.

Maybe that’s why she works so hard to impress her boss and maintain that to-do list. There’s something about checking off those boxes that’s satisfying. It’s something she can control – unlike his drinking… or the rest of her life.

Mandy knows she can’t keep this cycle up. This isn’t how she envisioned her life and relationship.

Taking the first toward change terrifies her, but she knows she has to do it because there must be a better way.

Stuck and sinking.

For months, Jake* has been steadily sinking into a downward spiral and feels helpless.

He feels like he isn’t there, at work, at school, with family and friends.

“Where am I?”

The same question circles and won’t land. He pulls the sheets up over his head and groans with frustration.

“Is this it? Why can’t I figure this out? I’m so… ugh. Is this it? Forever. Will I ever be happy?”

So tired, yet sleep doesn’t come.

“What do I want?”

He sits up in bed and rubs his eyes.

“For starters, someone to talk to, really talk to, friends who care about me, the real me. But who am I supposed to be? Everything is inside out, upside down. Accept it – things are not going to get better. I am so lonely, so alone. Maybe I should talk to somebody… I don’t want to worry anyone. It’s not like I’m suicidal.”

“Maybe I should call someone.”

Disgusted, Jake sinks back down under the covers, dizzy from the emotional storm that won’t leave.

Lately, Grant* has had weird dreams, using.

On his drive to Thanksgiving dinner with his family, Grant grinds his teeth and repeats, “Don’t do it, don’t even think about it.”

But there’s this folded part deep inside that misses the ride, the wild beauty of flying high, crashing and burning, and doing it again. It’s freaking hard to live ordinary; keep a job, stay in school, break bread with a brother-in-law who pistol-whipped you after you tried taking his motorcycle to get more booze.

Grant has gone from living an action thriller to a boring Hallmark rerun. The path to relapse looks like a superhighway – so easy to drive.

Whiskey keeps calling, “Just a shot, drink me in, I’ll warm your heart. Together, we’ll make it through dinner just fine. No one will know.”

Grant white knuckles the steering wheel, “Get lost.” The car seems to drive itself toward the corner liquor store. Grant wrestles with the wheel.

Whisky chides, “You know the truth. I’m in your DNA. We have a family history going way back. Don’t deny it. Look at Gramps, Dad. Besides, you’re still a f*ck up with or without me inside you. Just ask your sister.”

The road to a happier and healthier Mandy, Jake, and Grant…

During our time together, we addressed the past experiences that made Mandy feel like she was never in control and how they shaped what she feels and thinks today.

It took some work and time, but Mandy used the techniques we discussed in session to speak to her partner about his drinking. Instead of turning into another argument, they had an honest conversation where he listened and even talked more about getting help.

She still likes checking off those boxes on that to-do list, but if she misses one, she doesn’t let it ruin her day – and she doesn’t punish herself for it.

Mandy is also taking more time for herself and getting back into her passions. Instead of concentrating on work after work hours, she joined an art class at the local community college and spent two evenings a week creating and studying art – something she always wanted to do.

Jake finally did something about it. He made the phone call that I answered. He was ready to get help and try new ways to create a healthy mindset. He learned how to honestly evaluate the punitive thoughts and unrealistic expectations to “measure up” to some idealized other. Beginning with self-awareness and cognitive-behavioral interventions, he was able to shift his focus to new horizons. Jake leaned into building a healthy and confident worldview of himself and others by taking steps to discipline his mind for a future filled with hope and positive well-being.

Jake comes by every so often for a bit of “fine-tuning” and is happier and more thankful for the life he is crafting with pride and confidence.

And Grant, well, he relapsed but only for a week, and then he called with even greater insight and desire to quit. Through Motivational Interviewing techniques and understanding the psychology of habit formation and emotional intelligence, Grant found healthy systems with his new lifestyle actions, which culled away destructive impulses. In becoming more self-aware, he identified destructive cues, responses, and rewards, replacing them with new ways and habits, building value, virtue, and grit. His emotional intelligence continues to increase as we explore ways to build competency through life’s challenges.

Whisky has become less and less bothersome, and Grant continues to choose a sober life with greater meaning and purpose. This year, he’s hosting the traditional Thanksgiving dinner gathering with his new girlfriend, Faith.

There’s no need to suffer alone.

I extend my hand to steady you as you arise from the muck and allow your true nature to emerge. Our work will give you new methods and techniques to bring about positive change and clarity. I can give you the life-saving tools to transform your anxiety and dread to build a happier, confident you and a vision for a future you can embrace with excitement and joy.

It takes courage to face your inner fears and limitations. Asking for help and owning responsibility is the first step in taking charge of the life you deserve. Therapy works. I’ve witnessed it change so many of my clients’ lives, and it can help you, too.

Call today for a 30-minute free consultation: (949) 933-1242. Together, we can uncover your authentic self and clear the path to hopes and dreams that resonate true.

*Names changed to preserve client confidentiality.