Recovery and Sobriety
Think you’re free? Almost?
You’re doing your utmost to remain free from pills, intoxicants, liquor, or… name your poison. You might be white-knuckling it to avoid relapse, but you’re running on empty.
Or maybe you think you’ve completely recovered, unstoppable as you put the past behind you. But now you’re singing the blues to “Oops!… I did it, again.”
So, what… the car drove itself to the liquor store or the corner bakery that’s baking more than cupcakes??
No. You used. Deal with it.
This using is a symptom of something deeper, and you know it.
There’s your messed-up family with its messed-up traditions…
There’s your anxiety with and without people around…
There’s your depression or mental health issues…
There’s the lack of clear, proper boundaries…
There’s the trauma that won’t stop haunting you…
There’s the low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and distrust in yourself and your decisions…
There’s the impulsiveness… the impatience…
You’ve already figured some of this out. It’s in the folds of life – the hidden places you don’t like to think or talk about. But just like lipstick on your tooth or an open fly… ignoring something doesn’t make it go away.
I mean… with all this… who wouldn’t choose to feel good (even if for a minute), go numb, and hide from all that negativity? You are human, right?
That’s your substance dependence talking. Now… you and me… we’re going to change the narrative.
Pull over and park the car. Let’s talk.
If you’re ready to rebuild, then you’ve learned a bit more about what caused your relapse this time around.
That is progress… messy progress… but you’re moving upward. And you’re here. And if your willpower is about to cut out, it’s time to shift gears and slow down.
It is usually the sensitive, empathetic, and creative person who likes to put on an extra layer of protection from life’s pitfalls.
You’re not quite strong enough without that added layer of lies, right?
That’s your substance dependence talking again. It is a liar (but you know that already).
As you also know, it’s not easy being a “normie.”
There’s nothing normal about trying to live responsibly and authentically. It’s hard.
Do you know what entropy is?
It’s the tendency of the natural state of things to go into disorder if we don’t put in the energy to maintain and improve them. I mean… just look at the dishes in the sink, the clothes on the floor, or the back seat of the car. You get the idea.
This same law holds for creating a responsible, resilient life. It takes energy – positive energy – and that takes effort on your part.
It’s powerful to recognize when you’re going downhill, noticing the thoughts and attitudes that lead you back to your old habits – whether it’s bad relationships or harmful substances.
And even more powerful is to do something about it… like asking for help to swim out of the riptide so that you don’t drown.
Unfortunately, substance use disorder is slippery and hard to pin down.
If it were just in your head, you could just choose to be sober, tell everyone about your choice, and then enjoy the rest of your life.
If it were just a medical issue, that would be easy: Take a pill or have a procedure and that would solve it.
If it were just your surroundings, you could move to a new place – a “geographic cure” that would have you as good as new.
NOT!
It has invaded your mind, body, and soul.
It’s a bio-psycho-social problem that has to do with how well you adapt to the fastballs, curveballs, and even screwballs of life.
Here’s what that means: How you face what’s coming at you is the problem.
So, you’ll need to change your stance and adjust your swing. Being sober has kept you in the game of life – for now. You’re still swinging, but you won’t be hitting any home runs, and it ain’t a pretty sight.
And it’ll stay ugly until you focus deeper – like… to the seams stitching together the ball – that you’re going to be better. You have to stay focused on the “stitching” of your core issues.
I’m here to help you keep your eyes on the ball and focus.
I know the medical model, believe in the 12-step model, and use the stages-of-change model.
I understand recovery…
… but I am a therapist first, and I know to my core that your emotional problems need to be explored, first and foremost, if you’re going to have a successful recovery.
I work with people who have already done what it takes to get sober.
Take the time you need and get help sorting out your life – your problems, faulty beliefs, self-defeating attitudes, and negative thinking. Typically, this is what led you here in the first place.
It’s hard work, but it’s not over until it’s over.
It may seem beyond humanly possible to remain sober…
… while also juggling family, friends, school, work, and taking care of yourself.
Some of my substance dependent clients had been sober for years… but then they stopped paying attention.
They thought they had figured out the formula and won the game. They stopped checking in to see that the formula needed updating. Unknowingly, negative thinking, fear, doubt, low self-esteem, and the resentments leading to depression crept back in, first invading the folds of life and soon spreading like a dark shadow over their entire being.
As if no one noticed!
When they realized that they were still dealing with the “same old, same old,” they wondered if drinking or using was the problem. The lies of abusing substances took over like a body snatcher!
Wherever you are on this journey…
I can help you make sense of what’s going on and battle the body snatcher within you. I believe strongly in therapy as a useful and, at times, a necessary tool in the ongoing quest for sobriety and recovery. I know I am biased, but therapy’s a great way to help you see the triggers that can lead you astray.
You’ll learn to see how the lies and whispers of your ex-lover or substance use disorder used your unmet needs to lead you sweetly into your destruction. You’ve heard enough of this perverse lullaby. I’ll help you find more positive, healthy ways to get those needs met so that you can live freely again.
I am here when you are ready to stand up to self-sabotage and fear.
I am here to listen… to encourage and challenge you with creative interventions and experiential methods for a sustained and joyful recovery.
Are you willing to go to battle… right here and now?
I don’t expect you to know how to swim out of this current. I am here to show you how.
I don’t expect you to know what to do, nor do I expect that you won’t make mistakes along the way. It’s all okay, because learning from mistakes will deepen your understanding, and your mistakes will make you more successful in the long run.
Now that you’re on the rebound, it’s time to rebuild. The good news is… you’re not alone. I’m here to stand beside you, and I’m armed and ready for battle.
Your first step is easy. Contact me and let’s find a time to chat on the phone to make sure we’re a good fit to work together. We’ll then go from there. Call or text me: (949) 933-1242.